doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
