Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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