WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
