she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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