I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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