what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
