woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
