There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
