You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
