Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
