Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
