Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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