she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
