I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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