I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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