You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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