The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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