btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
