True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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