i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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