So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
