she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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