Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
