I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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