I'm eating all of the evidence.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
