I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
