Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
