My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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