the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
