drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
