I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
