Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
