imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize