): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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