I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
