New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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