Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
