is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
