So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
from now on my penis is your penis
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
