she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dicks are not precious.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
