Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
