dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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