I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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