it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There was a lot of him and a little penis
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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