no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
