You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
