Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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