You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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