I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
