Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize