so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
