I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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