maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
