Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
