He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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