Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
