A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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