thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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