in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
