this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
