I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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