Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Never joke about your clitoris.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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