you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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