Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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