Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
